thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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