someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
