Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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