Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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