I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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