love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
