Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
