I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
pray to the hookup gods
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
