So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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