Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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