I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
