The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
