Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize