Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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