He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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