nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
