i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
