Having a random hookup so left but love u
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
