i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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