I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize