I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize