Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
