I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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