Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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