I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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