By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
