Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
