I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
