covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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