i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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