Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
zippers are such a cool invention
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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