Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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