I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
