Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
