my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
