Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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