I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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