i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
