WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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