so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
