I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
