Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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