Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
