Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize