I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
