I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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