playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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