KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
