There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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