every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
