So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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