Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
How external is "for external use only"?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
