I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize