Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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