Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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